What is anger awareness and why do we present these emotions and such behaviour in our life?
What this article will show you is the emotions that we suppress or express in our lives through anger and how you use some of my tools to overcome this behaviour.
First of all let’s talk about what we do through our beliefs that we have gained since we were children between the ages of 0-7 that are not our healthy authentic self. I am not talking about a Spiritual point of view here yet scientific fact, as human beings what I’m talking about is what we do to dismantle the structure of our mind which causes the behaviour that we condone as our survival moods.
What we will be doing here is dismantling the influences of patterns and programming from our minds that have held you captured through wrongful thinking and bad habit behaviours. This behaviour has been learnt since a very young age and presents itself to us through “flight and fight” adrenaline symptoms.
Contrary to most people understandings is that “anger “ is not an authentic emotion it is a reaction of behaviour from what we understand and is a deep sadness embedded in our personalities.
The statement “you have to lose ourselves to find ourselves”; is a very profound statement indeed and as with all reactions you lose yourselves and your control in a crisis before you will take action to change the situations that you are going through.
Living out repetitious survival patterns is not unlike being lost in the wilderness and not recognising you have lost your way: predictably going around in circles only to present the same behaviour again when you dislike what is going on in your life and you cannot control the outcomes.
The root cause of “anger” is our inability to express our sorrow, grief, and deep sadness embedded in our heart feeling centre!
The Heart math Institute in America has done intensive research into the heart area of the human being and discovered that the heart itself carries it own neural pathways the same as the brain area. These neural pathways are known now to have their own intelligence. It has also been stated that the heart also has its own type of brain and listens to the messages not only from your own brain, yet more so from the messages coming in from its own brain connection.
As children we learn to distract ourselves from our vulnerability and sadness by either punishing ourselves, or punishing others close to us. This is triggered by experiences of disappointment, injustice, or loss and we learn to cover up our sadness by becoming verbally and physically angry, from distorted survival patterns we learnt from our caregivers
This is not in any way to play the blame game here because our caregivers learnt the same behaviour patterns from their environment and their caregivers as well just expanding of what they believed was the right survival tactics for them.
These are the societal conditions as children that we soak up like sponges because our brains are too under developed to filter the difference between what humanity believes to be right and wrong thought patterns our thinking.
We are afraid of our attachment to pain which causes “anger,” the emotional and physical. We want to believe as a human race that there is a way around experiencing our own sorrow and deep sadness attached to the “anger” we feel. In this we can avoid the pain and lose the fullness and joy of peace in living. This statement is so true because to feel our true “anger” we must confront what we do not like
We must walk right into the fear of anger and feel the feeling that is attached so we can dismantle the beliefs and the emotional triggers that keep us in the same place without permanent change.
The more disconnected from our sadness we are the more we learn to dislike others, relationships, and our lives. The more we associate with this reaction the more we punish ourselves and others or whoever is in the firing line at the time.
We will lash out seek revenge and justice, the level of our anger reflecting the depth of our sadness. Compounding our dilemma is the consistent misleading use of this word “anger” and what it really means. As I have said “anger” is not an authentic emotion yet a distorted emotion and a reaction to the deeper underlying sadness which holds the key to the truth.
To give up being “angry” or punishing for many would mean losing their beliefs which are attached to their identity. One of the major problems facing humanity today and society is that people won’t own their own “anger”.
We openly acknowledge how “angry” we feel, yet fail to own our “anger”. Yet we fail to concede that our anger reflects our harmful intention to punish others for our sadness that we feel deep inside. We comfortably express our anger because it protects us from feeling the deeper emotion of our sadness. Here lies the key within itself to tap and make the changes.
Anger is a deceptive dishonest word describing, cruel, vengeful intentions and behaviour; it is not a normal or an authentic emotion. What is the most amazing is that society irrational thinking reflects the simple belief that any behaviour that is ‘out of control’ must be bad and ‘in need of control.’
This prevailing belief reflects a disturbing naive understanding of our human spirit and emotional nature. Most specifically, it fails to acknowledge the pain of our unconscious: how our traumas of the past continue to trigger our programs in our mind to our survival behaviour in the present moment.
One of the keys I work with in my own coaching is to help the person treat the underlying source or cause, not control the symptoms. It is generally known that it is believed that controlling your “anger” will contain it. It will not, it will only suppress it for the next time when a trigger brings forward an ugly moment for you to express it externally again.
“Anger Management” is not the answer because we must be able to sit with someone and learn in a safe environment to tap the feeling without feeling we are being judged. We must also learn how to release these feelings as well and be educated into knowing what is causing our sadness behind this distorted emotion. The key is understanding the unconscious belief and learning to detach and release from this behaviour, not control it.
What I have given you here is a simple understanding to help you all understand the importance of tapping our beliefs and our emotions which are triggers for any feelings that automatically hinder us from experiencing our true authentic self.
In my next article I will talk about “control” and the major influence and damage it is having on humanity at this stage in our evolution of life which dovetails with this article.
- Educating yourself about anger can change your life
- Learning about your core beliefs can improve all your relationships
- Why we react the way we do
- Anger is a reaction to deep sadness learn more about it
- What are the triggers for anger learn through the lenses
- Learn how to release your angry emotions through simple tools
- Tap into yourself and understand your behaviour
- Release yourself from your angry behaviour and learn not to control it
- Learn the difference between suppression and expression of anger
- Learn about your attachment to pain which causes your anger
- Understand self sabotage and why you do this to yourself
Contact me on 0404 788 428 for more information or make an appointment.
Send me an email if you’d prefer to start off your journey this way.